Gratitude.

Today, I woke up to watch the Lakers game then fell back asleep. I felt so lazy the whole day. I did not go to Church. I did not want to study. I just did not want the day to end. I felt like it was so unfair how much studying I do, yet get the 'average' grade for it. I felt bitter.

As I cleaned the apartment and took the trash out, I stumbled upon a man, about 40 years old, who looked like he was looking for something in the trash. When he noticed I was there, it startled him a bit and he had such a guilty look on his face; as if he was not worthy to be there or in my presence. I had two bags of trash, one for regular trash and one for recycled. I then realized what he is doing; he is collecting cans and bottles for money. As he stared at each other for but a moment, all the bitterness I've had 5 minutes ago disappeared. All I wanted to do was to help him, I really don't know how I could. Maybe help him get a job so he doesn't have to go through the trash. Maybe I could just give him some money so he could eat or save up to support his family (if he had any). Maybe I could talk to him about God and let him know the beauty of Jesus. Maybe.

As I threw the trash bag in the trash can, he offered to throw my trash away. When I gave him my bag, he gave me a huge smile and said, "Thank you so much." I smiled back and walked off.

I don't know what it is, but somehow this really got to me. Oh how small must he have felt to thank a teenager for a bag of trash just to survive. A ton of guilt to fell upon my heart. Why do I complain about the most petty things in life. It would take me forever to really reflect upon what God has blessed me with and to really appreciate it. Why do I feel the bitterness of a LETTER on a piece of paper? Why do we complain about not having the latest shoes, not having the newest video game, not having enough money to get Cha? It's amazing how a small situation can really make me think. But then again that's just me. I did not stumble upon this man on accident. God put this man in my life, to make me reevaluate myself and to show just how gracious He has been.

I going to learn how to fully appreciate my family. my friends. my things. my God

I'm going to help the poor. the sick. the tired. the lonely.

I'm going to change the world for the better, or die trying.